A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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