porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
