just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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