a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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