woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
