I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
