arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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