There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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