Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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