summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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