You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
