You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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