the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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