That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
MIDGETS
????
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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