He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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