the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
