WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
