Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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