No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
