Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
