Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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