just come out here and I will go home with you...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
