real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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