He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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