if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
another moral hangover. fuck.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
