Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize