she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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