No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
