stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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