OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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