Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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