It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
