we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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