Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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