Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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