get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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