I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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