If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
