Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
