She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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