wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
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I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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