I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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