You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize