I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
pray to the hookup gods
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
