we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
