im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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