But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
