every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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