I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize