you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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