She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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