I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
