Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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