I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
