you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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