I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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