I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize