Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
